Join Taekwondo in your 70s or Learn How to Dance in your 40s?
There is this little saying that has been around for the last decade, or maybe longer, that goes like this:
“If it’s not a hell yes, then it’s a hell no.”
I completely disagree with that statement. And here is why.
It would be so nice to know that what you are thinking or what you are feeling at the moment is the right feeling or thought. Humans LOVE being sure of themselves. We love thinking that we are right and that the move we are making is absolutely the right move.
HA!
Little do we know.
We are actually wrong about things all the time. In fact, I truly believe that I don’t know what I’m doing about 90% of the time. You with me there? Don’t lie! We are making it up and trying to just figure out the best way to live our days with fulfillment and grace.
My business partner/friend and myself had an epiphany a couple years ago that has been marinating for a while and just percolating under the surface. I’ve put it into play in little sprinkles here and there but have not necessarily utilized it at a high level lately and I’m setting out to change that. That epiphany is:
“If it’s not a hell no, then it’s a yes.”
Notice the subtile difference?
We had decided a couple years ago when we were starting our business that there was plenty of time to work. Meaning, if there weren’t things going on or fun to be had, we would fill our days and hours with work. Any kind of work. We noticed that opportunities for fun are actually not as prevalent as one might think.
And as we age, it actually becomes less and less prevalent. You get sucked into the world of comfort. It’s so easy to stay home and binge watch Netflix than it is to go learn how to dance with your beloved (an activity I’m currently embarking on).
So our philosophy was basically as follows:
Any opportunity that comes our way that is non work related and sounds even a teeny, tiny bit like fun, we should absolutely say yes. Unless it’s a HELL NO, it’s a yes.
Lots of things are NOT going to be a “HELL” yes. Why? Because of your dreaded comfort zone. Your brain and comfort zone doesn’t want you to actually experience life and do stuff. So the default answer is hell no and as you age, hell no’s are almost automatic.
Hell no I’m not going to learn how to dance.
Hell no I’m not going to travel to some unknown exotic place.
Hell no I’m not going to join Taekwondo in my forties or in my seventies. Quick side story: I had a friend years ago at the age of 74 join my Taekwondo class. He had never done it before. I was about 17. God bless you Tom Boudreux. I learned a lot from you.
Hell no I’m not going to start a business or side hustle.
Hell no I’m not going to explore open monogamy.
Hell no, hell no, hell no!
It’s sounds tiring doesn’t it? Or maybe it doesn’t sounds tiring. Maybe it sounds EASY. It’s easy to say hell no to things if they aren’t a hell yes. It’s very easy. That’s why, if it’s not a hell no, then it should be a yes.
There is plenty of time to work and slave away at the mundane. We need to put in practice saying yes to all the possibilities of enjoyment that come our way.
Possibilities you say?
Of course you won’t know that the thing you are saying yes to is going to be enjoyable. Your brain will tell you that it’s not going to be enjoyable and that you should stay in your pajamas by the fire. But, if there is even a tiny HINT of enjoyment in this opportunity our default answer should be yes.
Our lives our fleeting. Many people are plagued with regret as they age and think: I should have done this or I should have done that.
Don’t go there.
If you run into an opportunity that your 18 year old self would have taken, then say yes and figure out how to make it a reality. Your life will become more fulfilling almost instantly.
Will there be duds every once in awhile? Maybe?
Most likely the result will be you doing way more fun stuff and meeting more people that will enrich your life.
Should you decide to adopt the “If it’s not a hell no, then it’s a yes” philosophy, I would recommend a couple minor rules that might be a good idea to follow.
- Don’t sacrifice your sleep very often. Sleep is GOLDEN and one of the number one things that will keep you young and healthy. Guard it with your life! Can you sacrifice a little sleep here and there, maybe, but be careful there.
- Be safe. Don’t be a fool regarding your health and well being. It’s great to get out of your comfort zone but don’t be an idiot. Enough said.
I wish you well in saying more YES’s in life!
