This Is It
This is it…..the anti self-help, self-help!
I have found myself addicted to self-help! I read way more nonfiction self-help then fiction. In fact, I don’t even remember the last time I read a fiction book. I’m wondering how I came down this path? We seem to be in an era where everyone is reading the next new self-help book. I’m not necessarily going to stop, but I found myself laying in bed last night with my wife and I said, “is this it?”
She asked me, “what do you mean”.
What was going through my head at that time? Was it the classic mid-life crisis that so many of us encounter? We have heard the classic story of the guy who hits about 40 and says fuck it and leaves his wife, buys a corvette, and starts hitting tons of happy hours! Was I on the brink of that?
I’ve come such a long way!
At the point of me writing this, I’ve been in the military going on 18 years. I’ve been deployed twice over seas to the Middle East. I have owned my own company which tanked from one of the deployments. I have an 8 member real estate team that is a huge pain in my ass (they are actually pretty awesome and I’m grateful they put up with my shit). I have a wife, two kids, big house with a pool, nice car, and one big ass headache!
Sounds great doesn’t it?
It is great!
At least I tell myself that.
Don’t get me wrong, I do have a grateful spirit. There are times when I look at pictures of my kids and I get teary eyed on how lucky I am. Or there are times, when I look at my wife and think, I’m lucky she picked me as we have a pretty good thing going on.
Now for the big but….get it “big butt”!
I’m still not happy. I still have this overwhelming urge to compare myself to the greats and think, is this it? Is this what life is all about? Am I doing it right? Have I taken the right path? Am I living how I’m “supposed” to be living.
I suppose that’s the golden question. Do you ever ask yourself that question? I suppose not everyone is self-reflective. Or maybe everyone is and I just don’t know it.
After reading so many positive things, why do I feel just as fucked up as I was years ago? It’s strange isn’t it?
People might think, man this guy is depressing! Don’t bullshit me.
I’m driven. I want to keep striving for more. I want to reach happiness. Of course I know happiness is a journey! I read that somewhere!
Here is what I’m here to tell you.
This is it!
THIS IS IT!
Your life is passing by you, right now. In a blink of an eye, you will be dead. You will pull out of your driveway today and have a heart attack or get in a massive car accident, or die of some other strange death.
These are the words of a man that is a bit lost but also starting to gain clarity on what really matters. I’m starting to learn how important candor and honesty really are. I’m starting to learn how important leaving your phone at home and going somewhere fun and making deposits into the “reduce your fucking stress” bank!
I’ve been making withdrawals from the Joey bank for many years now and that account is running dry.
Not sure if you are there or if you have been there, but that is what inspired me to write this.
You only have this life, right now. Start taking chances. Get over yourself! This is it!
I love it when I hear people say, “I’m slowing down”, “I’m semi retired”, “I’ve been doing so and so for so many years that I’m not making any changes”.
What does this all mean? I never want to be there.
We have such a cool opportunity to make so much change in the world and discover so many things that I never want to go down the path of, “I’m slowing down”.
First step: I’m slowing down. Next step: I’m dying.
Nope.
Not me.
My brother in law is an atheist. I find that concept so interesting and him and I have had numerous discussions about it into the wee hours of the night.
I’ve asked him, “Well this is it for you huh?”
He just laughs and says yep!
How empowering is that? There is no redo for him. There is no second chance. There is no heaven, hell, or reincarnation.
Now it doesn’t mean this guy is living EXACTLY how he wants to live but it sure puts it in perspective for me.
Are you doing what you want to do? Are you taking small actions towards a certain thing or are you just finding yourself talking about it.
Quit that!
I decided to start writing. That was literally last night!
And this is what I did.
Started writing. I had no idea what would come out. To be honest, I actually didn’t care.
I got up in the morning, pulled the laptop out and wrote at the top: This is it….
That’s all.
One
Teeny
Tiny
Action
I’m not sure where I stand on the whole atheist thing but here is what I do know.
If you aren’t living, you are dying.
Don’t look at your days as long. Look at them as fleeting opportunities and you better wake up and start noticing them.
I heard someone once say they went and bought a huge thing of marbles and put them in a jar. They calculated out approximately how many days they had left to live. Then everyday, they pulled one of the marbles out and threw it away.
I told my wife this and she thought it was a little morbid.
I thought it was genius.
You get to visually see your life chipping away. I think it makes you internalize what you are doing and the opportunity you are given being on this planet.
Stop wasting it.
This is it!
This.
Is.
It.
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